My identity, whether it be who I am in France or who I am in the UK, is something I think about almost every day. In Cardiff, I am proudly French, and in France, I am proudly English (although this is a more well-known fact among my friends). I always wonder which one should be more prominent and if there needs to be a choice. I have concluded that it doesn’t really matter. However, I feel a small cultural difference when in Cardiff. I moved to France when I was only 6 years old, and so I spent my impressionable years in France. This has shaped me in so many ways, from style to personality, and has made me who I am today. Despite this, I grew up in an English household and would, a couple of times a year, go visit family in England. Overall, France has probably had more influence over me, which is why I feel a gap when in Cardiff. The gap is small, but it’ll be felt the most in conversation. I often get called ‘very upfront’ by people here, and it is never well received. I do agree that I am honest, but not in the way they portray it to be. Because of this, I now tend to be quieter around people I don’t know that well. In Montpellier, my favourite city and also where I live, I am completely carefree about this and act how I have always acted.
There is also another facet of this dual identity that comes into play when in Cardiff, my sense of style. I vividly remember a conversation I had in my first year of uni about what we would wear in high school. When I said I would often wear boots and trench coats or showed her some of the outfits I loved wearing, she was really surprised. She thought it was way too much for school and that where she was from, they would wear comfy clothes. In my school and even city, I dressed like most other girls and felt confident in my choices. After that conversation, I thought to myself that I better not wear those outfits here, as an attempt to not stand out and make friends. Needless to say, it didn’t work anyway, and all it did was make me sad that I didn’t feel like myself in my new place of residence. This year, I definitely have adopted some ongoing trends from girls here, but I have also let myself dress how I would in France. The best of both worlds.
I think the best thing to do in these situations is to go with the flow. I am now a lot more carefree when it comes to this. Am I saying the right thing, or am I being “too French?” were things I would ask myself every day. I am proud of being French and “acting French” if that even is a trait. I should not feel the need to adapt to a new culture by suppressing my personality to fit in with the crowd. People should embrace cultural differences and not comment on them in a negative light. I didn’t quite understand this arriving in Cardiff. My friends from home always said nice things about my English heritage, and I thought that would be the case in my new home. Some people like my French-ness, and some don’t. I now know that those who don’t particularly care are the people to keep, those who see you for your personality and not your origins.
